Don’t Do What I Do
This post comes after a two-month reprieve from thinking about anything to do with The Workshop website. My family just got back from 3 weeks at high elevation in the Rockies. I owe these insights to a consistent and refreshing lack of O2. Or, more likely to the brain break / mental reset that prolonged time in nature, especially the mountains, so graciously gives.
Don’t do what I do. Actually, a better title would be, “Don’t Do What I Used To Do.” I’m an independent and stubborn human. I learn by doing. I learn the hard way. I’m also pretty motivated and high achieving, so I’ve done a lot and learned a lot of hard lessons. I am compiling a list of the things I’ve done over the years that did not get the results I wanted. It’s been enlightening and a good lesson in self-reflection. Some of the lessons I have solidly learned and moved on from. Some of the lessons are habits or patterns I’m still breaking.
I fully expect this advice to go nowhere because most people are stubborn and learn by doing, just like me. Most people are also very proud, or maybe they are scared of the truth or scared of losing their excuses. For whatever reason, most people are resistant to turning a critical and reflective eye toward themself. My writing will not be well received. Also, I don’t care enough about appearances or how to be an effective purveyor of what I’ve learned, to garner a listening and receptive ear from the masses, or my family, or my friends…there’s obviously something here that will hopefully one day go on my list of, “Don’t do what I Did” emphasis on the did. With this harsh and blunt intro, let me introduce you to 3 of the things I’ve done that were dumb.
Work Harder Not Smarter: Yes you read this right. And yes, I freaking love to do this. (still have to fight it. it’s an insidious type of laziness) I was raised by parents who taught me to put my head down and work. We were “country poor” (much different than city poor) at various points in my childhood. We lived in an old rental out in the country. With lots of farm-land around us and no money, we learned how to W O R K. Autobiography cut short, I learned to find immense value in my work ethic. I didn’t have any material possessions worth finding value in, but I was proud. Hence, the immense pride in my ability to work taking root. Knowing how to work is valuable. It is good to work hard. But keep smart people. Make sure your work is benefiting you and your family. Don’t be a cog in the wheel of someone else’s game or goals.
Overexplain: Not going to do it here. You discredit yourself, your value, skill, expertise etc., when you overexplain.
Assume Others Share Your Values: This is easy to inadvertently do. They’re your values which means they are valuable….to you. Just because someone was raised the same way as you, or shares a common indomitable spirit, or sense of entrepreneurial adventure, or likes to read the same books, or has the same hobbies, or flips the bird to the same types of societal norms, whatever it is that makes you want to connect, these similarities do not translate to shared values. They might, but they also might not. Better find out for sure rather than make an ass out of you both.
I have an overabundance of these, mistakes, life lessons, subconscious patterns, habits, survival skills... I’ll share more as I have the capacity to think about them and write.
